YOUR STORY MATTERS HERE: Tom Norton

By Tim Wesley

When it comes to stories, Tom Norton prefers listening rather than telling. It’s a skill that not only inspired his career choice but comes in handy on the job, too.

As a high school student, he shadowed a physical therapist helping an 18-year-old girl recover from severe injuries suffered in a car accident. During the treatments, Tom listened to her story and watched her progress.

“It hit me how wonderful it would be to help people recover from challenging events,” he says. “I remember giving her a hug as she was able to walk and get into the car to go home with her family. A couple of months before that, they weren’t sure she would ever recover, let alone walk again.”

 Fast forward to a few years later when, early in his own career as a physical therapist, Tom was tasked with evaluating a man in a nursing home who was quiet and kept to himself. He found the man slumped over in his wheelchair and tried to talk with him but didn’t get much of a response. Then, he noticed a model airplane on the man’s dresser; it was a World War II-vintage B-52 bomber.

“Tell me about your plane,” said Tom, not expecting much.

“I was a pilot,” replied the man faintly, picking up his head. “I flew that plane in the war many times.”

Over time, the stories began flying, too. As Tom listened, a bond developed, and the man began following his treatment plan.

“We even became friends,” Tom says. “Through that encounter, I realized everyone has a story, and you just have to be willing to listen. That was a lesson I learned and never forgot. I tell all new therapists to listen to their patients, to really hear their stories, and then see what happens. You won’t be disappointed.”

As Tom reflects today on his own story, he can see how the plan was coming together—thanks to the benefits of hindsight and his spiritual growth.

“I didn’t fully appreciate this until a couple of years ago, but there was a plan all along,” he says. “I just had to decide if I wanted to follow it. When I decided not to be a knucklehead and so hard-headed, now I can see it.”

A self-described “rebel” as a youth and into his early adult years, Tom was born and raised in Monroeville and graduated from Gateway High School in 1979. Following his plan for a career in health care, he majored in biology and psychology at West Virginia University, graduating in 1983. He then earned a master’s degree in exercise science from the University of Pittsburgh (1985), worked in cardiac rehabilitation at West Penn Hospital (1985-92), and earned a master’s degree in physical therapy from Duquesne University (1994). After Duquesne, he returned to West Penn Hospital for three years, then has spent the rest of his career treating geriatric patients through home care or skilled nursing facilities; he’s now semi-retired.

Along the way, as he worked on his vocation and his education, another plan was taking shape, and Tom was listening.

“It was God’s plan,” he says.

That leg of his journey began to take shape when he took a summer job as a YMCA camp counselor in 1983. During a training weekend at Camp Kon-O-Kwee, he met—was it by chance or by design? —Pam Snider, a 1981 graduate of Plum High School and a senior camp counselor.

“I meet Pam and she’s a wonderful person,” he says. “Well, all summer long, we’re dating other people, but it gave us a chance to be open with one another as friends. By the end of the summer, we started dating. Pam has always been a very grounded and spiritual person, and I listened and learned a lot from her.

“I was a complete rebel coming out of college at WVU and didn’t attend church. Not that I didn’t believe, I just never gave it a lot of thought. My life was without any faith and direction, I guess because I thought my value system was good enough. Eventually, Pam invited me to church, and it began this journey of starting to take this rough side of me and develop my faith.”

The journey continued after they were married at Holiday Park United Methodist Church in 1987, then kicked into high gear when they moved to Cranberry Township and began attending Dutilh in 1994. While working and raising their three children—Britta (now 33), Blake (31), and Kelley (28)—they leaned on Dutilh for spiritual growth and guidance and participated in a variety of volunteer activities.

Tom served on the Pastor-Parish Relations Committee, and Pam taught youth Sunday school classes. They attended Wednesday night dinners and small groups and helped with the Pumpkin Patch. When the Men’s Ministry sponsored work projects, the Father-Daughter Dance and weekend retreats, he was there.

“The small groups, especially, were a big growth opportunity and really uplifting for me,” he says. “Listening to everyone’s stories and growing together really helped me when the kids were young, the job was demanding, and you have the typical relationship challenges. I found that most of my growth happened when I participated in things, not just took a passive approach. Things that seemed like difficult decisions became pretty clear. I didn’t always make the correct decisions, but I knew what decisions to make. It just clears your mind and makes it easier to function, makes life better with all of your relationships.

“I also realized that I’m going to church not because I’m perfect, but because I’m imperfect, because I’m broken. And if I step away from church, I revert to bad habits. Church always provides a way to get back on track and go in the right direction again.”

In a career based on helping people, Tom has found many ways to apply Christian principles, starting with that fundamental skill of listening. Several times during his career, he has treated retired sisters from St. Francis, Holy Family and other orders. For one of his first assignments, he was sent to Mt. Assisi Place, which housed more than 50 sisters who had worked around the world in some dangerous places to provide support and care for others. In retirement, they deal with many physical aches and pains of their own.

“First of all, they have a great sense of humor,” Tom says. “They have seen and heard everything so you can’t shock them. They’d share great stories with me, and it was really uplifting to hear them. It helped me to understand their life a little better. I kept wondering if I was really worthy of treating them because they served God. But they became very comfortable with me and even asked for me by name.”

For him, the stories often provided insights and inspiration.

“What’s cool about health care is that everybody has their story,” he says. “I get to hear the story of an individual’s life and family almost every time I have appointments. It’s a real gift because they have wonderful stories. Life stories aren’t all rosy; they have highlights and lowlights. But what I did hear in many of their stories was how faith got them through tough times and helped them to have a handle on things. They have faith, family and support, from the church and the community, and that made a big difference for them.”

A year ago, Tom helped to make a difference for his childhood friend Ricky, who suffers from leukemia. He participated in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Man of the Year campaign and spoke at the Sunrise Rotary Club of Cranberry Township, which then made a significant donation to the cause.

“My friend spent 172 straight days in the hospital and was really struggling several times,” Tom says. “He was asked to pick a hospice company and make funeral arrangements. He has recovered but still has challenges. But his faith has been unwavering. He’s been stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s been an amazing story.”

Tom and Pam are about to write the next chapter in their story.

Two years ago, they sold their house in Cranberry and rented a 15-acre farm in Portersville, complete with horses, goats, chickens, and donkeys. Pam helps with the animals, and Tom “uses all the landlord’s toys,” including a tractor to cut the fields. This fall, however, they’ll be moving to Mars.

“We won’t be at the farm anymore, but the landlord has become a family friend,” he says. “We’re already scheduled to spend Thanksgiving Day back on the farm.”

No doubt sharing many stories during the day’s festivities.

-Published October 4, 2023

If you or someone you know in the Dutilh family has an interesting story, send us your ideas! We would love to help tell your story. Email: communications@dutilhumc.org.