How to Talk to Children About Jesus’ Death
By: Pastor Tom Parkinson
It’s Holy Week, the most important week of the year for Christians around the world. As churches gather for special services to commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus, it is important for parents to include children in these holy occasions.
When it comes to Palm Sunday and Easter, it is easy to keep children involved. What child doesn’t love parading around with palm branches, or singing “Oh Happy Day” to celebrate that Jesus is alive? But what should parents do about those days in between Palm Sunday and Easter? You know – the days when Jesus suffers horrendously and dies a violent death? Should you check the kids into the nursery on those days, or skip them altogether?
Let’s face it: it’s hard to talk to children about what happened to Jesus on Good Friday. The details surrounding Jesus’ death are R-rated. We fear saying the wrong thing, or unintentionally traumatizing our children.
Jesus died on the cross for our salvation. His death is central to our faith. While it may be best to check them into the nursery on Good Friday, that doesn’t prevent us from spending a few minutes talking with our children about Jesus’ death. Here are six practical tips for approaching that conversation.
Make the story plain. Tell your children what happened to Jesus in plain language. “Not everyone believed that Jesus is God’s Son. Some leaders rejected him and wanted to stop him. Even though Jesus didn’t do anything wrong, they arrested him and nailed him to a cross to die. It hurt Jesus and it was so sad. Jesus is God and if he wanted to, he could have come down from the cross. But he didn’t want to, because he knew that if he died, he could make a way for us to be with him in heaven forever. He died because he loves us.”
Help them love Jesus more. The goal is not to ensure they know every detail of Jesus’ death. It’s ok to de-emphasize some of the more gruesome elements of the story. The primary goal is to lead children to love Jesus more. We want them to appreciate what Jesus has done for us.
Focus on love, not blood. We know that the crucifixion was gruesome. Yet, the primary focus of the gospels is not on the blood, but on the love Jesus showed. Talk about what Jesus did for us more than what we did to him. No matter what, make sure the children hear that Jesus died as an act of love. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…” (John 3:16).
Acknowledge sadness and pain. Jesus’ death is sad. He experienced great pain. It’s ok to acknowledge these truths. Children will likely feel sadness. They will intuit that it was painful. It’s important to validate these feelings and intuitions.
Cultivate curiosity. As you talk, your children will likely ask questions. Some will be easy to answer. Others will be difficult. It’s important to validate the question and acknowledge what we don’t know. A perfectly valid response can be, “That’s a great question. I’m not sure.”
Point to hope. Please talk with your children about the death of Christ. Please ALSO talk with them about his resurrection. We know how the story ends, so we don’t need to leave our children hanging! Make sure they know that God raised Jesus from the dead and that we have hope because of Jesus!
While conversations like these aren’t easy, they are a crucial part of raising our children in the Christian faith. I pray that God will bless you as you share his love with your children.